Today’s mattress shopper doesn’t arrive in your store with an open mind and need of education. They’ve read reviews, taken quizzes, watched TikToks, compared cooling layers and maybe even memorized motion transfer scores. They may even know more about your competitor’s product specs than your new hire does.
So what are they looking for in your store?
Not just information — but interpretation, personalization and, above all, connection. The modern shopper wants to feel heard, understood and supported. And that’s where your team can shine. Or fall short.
Your secret weapon? Empathy. In a sales culture that has historically prized scripts and specs, emotional intelligence might be the new competitive edge.
Let’s explore how training your in-store teams with empathy and emotional intelligence in mind isn’t just good for morale — it’s good for business.
Empathy isn’t soft — it sells!
Empathy isn’t about being warm and fuzzy. It’s about hearing what your customer is telling you — and what they may be reluctant to share. They may be dealing with one or a few hidden issues.
- Chronic pain or poor sleep.
- Frustration from previous purchases that didn’t work.
- Anxiety over making a high-stakes decision they can’t easily undo.
“Empathy begins in the heart, defines a mindset and then flows through our language,” says Bob Muenkel, sales trainer and founder of Uncle Muenkel. “Consider two simple statements: ‘Let me show you this,’ versus ‘Based on your feedback, let’s get your opinion on this.’ One focuses on the RSA’s agenda. The other centers the customer’s experience. That shift changes everything.”
Active listening, thoughtful questions and understanding responses (not pitches) build trust. And we all know that trust closes sales. To go from simply transactional to transformational, you’ll need to move beyond sales training focused on product knowledge, overcoming objections and closing tactics. Those skills still matter — but they’re no longer enough.
Today’s best in-store teams are trained to:
- Understand the digital journey that led to the store visit.
- Adapt their communication style to meet each shopper’s energy.
- Recognize signs of decision fatigue or analysis paralysis.
- Offer guidance rooted in outcomes, not just features.
As Muenkel puts it, “Visiting a store indicates the customer wants to validate and confirm their purchase with a three-dimensional experience. RSAs should meet customers where they are in their purchase journey by asking, ‘Are you early in your research, midway or near the final stages?’ That one question respects their time and sets the tone for authentic service.”
An emotionally intelligent RSA knows how to shift from “What are you looking for?” to “Tell me what’s not working with your sleep.” That simple pivot transforms a transaction into a conversation — and a browser into a buyer.
Train for empathy like you train for product knowledge
Empathy can’t be added to a training checklist as an afterthought. It needs to be built into your sales culture. Here’s how to start:
- Use role-play scenarios that go beyond price objections. Teach your team how to respond to emotional cues like frustration, confusion or skepticism.
- Bring in customer feedback as real-world training material. Analyze positive and negative reviews together to uncover what shoppers value most.
- Teach emotional regulation. Empathetic listening is easier when your team knows how to manage stress, stay present and not take customer tension personally.
- Encourage storytelling. Share customer success stories — not just sales numbers. Help RSAs see their role in improving lives, not just selling mattresses.
“Retailers must institutionalize consistent and continual training in their culture,” Muenkel emphasizes. “It should not be reactionary — it should always be on the schedule. And not just one type of training. There’s people development, product training and sales training. All three are critical, and they should never stop.”
Metrics that matter — measuring the ROI of emotional intelligence
Think empathy can’t be measured? Think again. Retailers who prioritize emotional intelligence training often see improvements in:
- Conversion rates. Shoppers who feel heard are more likely to buy.
- Average ticket size. Trust opens the door to upselling solutions.
- Review quality. Satisfied shoppers write about how they were treated, not just what they bought.
- Employee retention. Empathetic environments are more satisfying for teams, too.
Empathy isn’t just good for customers — it’s good for culture, reputation and your bottom line. The modern shopper expects your physical store to do more than your website. They’ve already read the FAQ. Now they want clarity, validation and confidence.
And none of that happens without people who know how to listen.
Empathy fills the gap between product knowledge and customer trust. And in today’s digital-first, review-heavy, comparison-shopping world, that might be the most valuable asset in your showroom.
“In a world where customers can research everything but how they’ll feel in your store,” says Muenkel, “empathy is your biggest differentiator.”
Train it. Practice it. Reward it. And watch it deliver.
Excellent article and outstanding advice. The cornerstone of all strong relationships, business or otherwise, is “trust”. And empathy, combined with good questioning skills, listening techniques and emotional intelligence, are the key factors required to build that trust. Thank you Bob and Julia for sharing your insights.